What part of "Please turn off your cell phone" did you not understand?

While I am nearing age 60, I'm not a technophobe. I love technology and feel that it adds a lot to my life; but I also believe that there are times and places where it is inappropriate. One of these is the movie theatre. You want to check your email while you're waiting for the movie to start? Have at it. You want to text until the lights go down? Knock yourself out. But once the previews start, turn the damn thing off and put it away as requested by the notice on screen.

I used to go to the movies weekly and had my own movie review website. I wrote essays there (an early version of blogging) about the rudeness of people talking in the movie theatre. These days, I still love movies, but I don't go as often. I now find that people talking in the movie theatre isn't as much of a problem as it used to be. But of course, a new problem has replaced it.

With the holidays here and lots of great movies being released, I've been in a movie theatre 3 times in the past month--to see Blind Side, Avatar and It's Complicated. All 3 of these recent movie experiences had one thing in common--cell phones.

At Blind Side, a man across the aisle from me kept turning his cell on and off throughout the movie (checking messages, I guess). The light going on and off was really distracting. Finally, I said "Sir, please turn off your cell phone." and he did.

At Avatar, a kid (junior high age) had his cell phone on and in his hands throughout the movie. Not sure if he was texting or only reading, but he never put it down. He was far enough away from me and in a direction away from the screen that it wasn't AS obnoxious as the last time, so I just took a deep breath and let it go.

At It's Complicated, a couple who appeared to be in their 70s was sitting in front of me. The last person I expected to whip out a Blackberry was a grandma, but moments after I sat down, she did exactly that. This was before the movie started, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But, just in case, I started a conversation with the friend I came with about people who use cell phones during movies and how I find it offensive. Was I rude? Maybe. But you know what? She put it away when the movie started.

While I have had my cell phone out while waiting for a movie to start, it is always turned off and in my purse before the previews start, much less the movie itself. I really don't see the point of having the thing on and using it when you're at the movies. I mean, if you really can't be away from your freaking messages for 2 hours, perhaps you shouldn't be at the movies? Or if something so urgent is happening in your life that you have to continue checking it, perhaps you shouldn't be at the movies?

I should just give up on expecting people to think of and be considerate to others. Thirty-seven years living in the Washington DC area should have cured me of that. But it bugs me when people make it so painfully obvious that they don't give a shit about me...or anyone else around them. They feel they have a right to do what they want--at the expense of everyone else around them. I moved away from the DC area to get away from that attitude...but I guess it's everywhere...or at least in my little beach town where the DC folk come to vacation.

Littering: It makes me want to throw something--just not out the window!

I'm a walker. These days, I do most of my walking at the other end of a leash from a fluffy little white thing, but I was a power walker for years before that. The only entrance to the development where I live is via a fairly busy road we'll call Road P. This road parallels an even busier road that the tourists use to flock to our lovely little beach town. Unfortunately, many of them have discovered "the back way" using Road P. It's only a 1-lane-each-way road, but there isn't a stoplight for several miles, so you can make some time on it under the right conditions.

Neither my development nor the one immediately next to it has sidewalks. This can make walking, especially dog walking, a risky proposition. Additionally, I like to change things up and walk various routes to keep things interesting, so one of my routes is to walk along Road P (which has a bike lane) about a quarter mile to a development that does have sidewalks and then spend some time walking around in the development before heading home. I have trained the fluffy little white thing (we'll call her Missy--mostly because that's her name) to walk with me, mostly in a heel position on a tight leash, along Road P.

Being a dog, Missy likes to sniff at most anything, especially anything that smells of food. This brings us to the subject of littering (you knew I was going to get to the point sooner or later, right?). On any given day, I will see an astonishing volume of trash that has been thrown out of car windows littering the roadside on Road P. The most common items are empty plastic soda bottles and fast food packaging (top of the list: McDonald's french fry containers).

What's really lovely is when the big ol' mowers have come along to chop down the weeds along the side of the road and have turned all that litter into confetti. To make it even more appetizing, add water--like on a heavily dewy morning or after a rainstorm. Disgusting.

I never cease to be amazed by the things people throw out of car windows. One morning last year, I found a huge Outback carryout shopping bag with the receipt still stapled to the handle and all the styrofoam packaging still inside--everything but the food, basically. It's like they consumed their meal without even opening the bag. Freaky. Fringe-like.

Aside from the unsightlyness, probably the thing that cheeses me off most about litterers (especially as a dog owner) is when they hurl glass bottles out of a moving car. Boy howdy, nothing says Saturday night at the beach like riding down the road listening to some Skynyrd, sucking down Jack Daniels and then hurling the empty bottle out the car window.

WTF? Do these people even THINK? No, they don't, and even if they did, they wouldn't give a shit. People who hurl glass bottles out of car windows just don't give a damn about anything or anyone but themselves and havin' a grand ol' time. Idgits!

Makes me want to have super powers. Yea. My Spidey sense would tell me when a hurling was about to be committed and I'd don my stylish costume in a flash and be waiting behind a bush when the hurler was winding up for the toss. Then, in artistically beautiful slo-mo befitting The Matrix (the original, not those sucky sequels), I would leap out, catch the empty bottle in mid-air, stop time (and hence the car) and smash that bottle over the head of the offending hurler. But first, I would make sure he saw it coming and I would say, in my most deadly, small fluffy dog owner's voice: "Don't you EVER...do...that...again!!!!!!!!"

Hey, whaddya want. I'm a Libra. We have issues with justice. A girl can dream, can't she?

Cleanliness Is Next to Memory Loss

You may have heard the saying "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." Well, I must be pretty darned close to God these days, because I'm cleaner than ever.

Those of a "certain age" will be able to relate when I say there are times when you just can't remember what you just said or where you put the keys or what you had for lunch yesterday. However, I seem to have taken memory loss into a whole 'nother direction. There have been too many times lately where I get out of the shower, look at the clock, and think "Holy moley! Where did the time go?" I realized yesterday where the time is going.

Like most people, I have a routine when I get in the shower. I shampoo my hair first, Buf Puf my face, shave my pits and then move on to the actual body cleaning portion of the program. Here is usually where the memory loss comes into play. I get to thinking about where I'm going or what I'm doing that day--don't forget to do this, be sure to call whoever, etc. And that's when I forget--did I already wash my feet? I know...it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but sometimes I forget whether I've already washed my feet! So what do I do? I wash them again, just for good measure. Yesterday, I realized (after the fact) that I'd washed my hair twice. So that is where the time is going--but at least I'm extra-sparkly clean as a result!

This from a person who once drove past her exit on the way to the beach because she was thinking about other things. I guess the multi-tasking part of my brain isn't quite what it once was. Or maybe I just like showering. Ah well...not like it's harming anybody...unless you count pruning up from a long shower as harm!

Grocery store cart hogs have a special place in hell.

A week or two ago, I walked into my local grocery store to do some shopping. I was barely 2 steps inside the front door with my cart when my progress was stopped by two women and a male teenager, along with two carts. A few things seemed clear from the get-go:

1) The people appeared to be related (my guess is mother, daughter and grandson).
2) They were not originally from this country (my guess is Russia or thereabouts).
3) They are not aware that there is anyone else shopping in this grocery store.

In my local store, you walk directly into the produce department. From the front door to the SECOND aisle (the one next to the produce aisle), I had to ask these women to move (in order for me to be able to pass by them with my cart) FOUR times. They constantly stopped either at the mouth of an aisle or in the middle of it and stood discussing what to buy while blocking the entire aisle for anyone else with a cart.

I was surprised and appalled that these women did not get the clue to move their cart over before stopping or at least become more conscious of other people after the first time or two. Is this a case where they just don't give a shit? Or because they aren't from this country, they aren't aware of their rude behavior? But how can you not BECOME aware after being asked to move your cart four times in 5 minutes?

Thankfully, I lost them after the first few aisles. About midway through the store, I found them again. This time, the teenage son saw me coming and, embarassed, nudged his mother (who was again in conversation with HER mother about what to buy) and asked her to move over before I had to. I appreciated that.

I want to be clear that I'm not saying that because these people were from Russia (or from anywhere outside the U.S.), they were rude or dumb or badly behaved. I have had the same situation (though never one repeated as often as this one) with people who appeared to have been born here. I had just never seen a situation where people were so completely unaware of what was going on and who refused to learn anything from being asked over and over and over to move.

I am a student of human psychology and am fascinated with why people do the things they do so, after this had happened half a dozen times in one store visit with the same family, I was dying to ask them "Do you not understand why I keep asking you to move?" "Do you understand that you're supposed to move your cart over before you stop so that you don't block the aisle?" "Do you realize there are other people shopping in this store?" and so on.

But I didn't. Because that would be rude. (smirk)

What is the deal with decorating cars for Christmas?

I still remember one of the first times I ever saw a car sporting a Christmas wreath. It was many years ago in Alexandria, Virginia (a suburb of Washington, DC), and I was either sitting at a stoplight, or I was waiting at a light to make a left turn. Suddenly, a huge older-model Cadillac came lumbering toward me in the oncoming lane. Now, it was already a "Look at me!" kind of car, but to add to the ostentatiousness, they'd wired a huge Christmas wreath, complete with red bow, to the front grill of the car.

I remember the mix of emotions as I saw it--first, slack-jawed wonder, because I'd never thought to do such a thing and, as far as I knew, didn't know anyone else who would either, and second, a fit of snarky giggles, at how ridiculous it looked.

Many years and 135 miles to the east later, I was out doing errands and suddenly became aware that there were quite a few wreath-festooned cars going by. I stopped at the grocery store and ended up parking nose-to-nose with a wreath. It made me realize that, all these years later, I still don't get why people feel the need to wire a Christmas wreath to the grill of their car.

As I walked through the parking lot to the store, I spied the next generation of Christmas-decorated cars, and laughed out loud--a car had large felt antlers sticking up from the driver's-side and passenger-side windows. Now I had to admit, that was cute. It didn't elicit the same head-shaking "Why on EARTH?" reaction as the grill-wired wreaths. It was as if someone was having a little fun with the silly habit of car decorating. Now that, I can understand.

Here's a clue--take your foot off the accelerator!

You know how sometimes you are driving behind someone who couldn't buy a clue if they won the lottery? Coming home from my volunteer gig the other day--it's a 30-minute drive on a 1-lane-each-way road--I had a brake-rider in front of me. In front of him/her was a truck that was going slower than the speed limit. So okay, pass it or take your foot off the accelerator and reduce your speed. But no. Brake rider would accelerate right up to the truck's bumper and then brake, brake, brake. Even though I was keeping a civil distance (by taking my foot off the accelerator when necessary, by the way), it was still a pain for this car, which was already going slower than the speed limit, to constantly brake, brake, brake, every minute or two.

You know how you just want to cheer when someone like that finally turns off your road and is no longer a pain in your tuckus? Yea, me too. Sometimes, I DO cheer. It's not lady-like driving behavior, but sometimes it just helps to blow off steam for a moment. :)

Death to Veerers!

I'm convinced that there is a strange phenomenon which causes people to veer their vehicle toward what they focus on. I tried doing some research on this subject on the web (there is actually a book called "The Psychology of Driving"!), but didn't have much luck.

I was walking along a main road in my area this morning--I don't usually do this, as the cars are whizzing by between 40 and 60 MPH, but it was a beautiful morning and I wanted to take a longer walk, so there I was. There is plenty of shoulder on this road and, in fact, most of the road where I was walking is clearly marked with a bike path, which is where I was walking.

I have noticed that, every time I walk on a road where there is no physical (i.e., median strip, etc.) separation between me and the cars, there will always be some drivers who will be driving along just fine between the lines of the road and then, as soon as they see and start to focus on me, they start veering over the line and coming toward me.

This is when I start giving the driver my "would ya please stay in your own effing lane!" death stare. This morning, I shook my head ruefully at two of the drivers who did not correct quickly once they started veering. One lady was on the cell phone and when she saw me shaking my head, she immediately course-corrected.

So okay, I get distracted drivers--cell phones, makeup application, radio knob fumbling, etc. But are the rest of them just psycho sadists who think it's fun to make like they're going to smush little Sheri into roadkill? Or is there really some psychological draw that makes people drive toward me when they really have no intention of doing so? Hmm.

Years ago, a friend admitted to me that, when he drove over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge (quite a formidable bridge for some), he sometimes had a strange desire to drive off the bridge! Yoikes. So if there is a psychological desire to drive off a bridge (likely because the driver is focusing on not coming too close to the jersey walls that line the bridge), then perhaps there is a psychological reason for people veering out of their lane and coming straight at me--perhaps, in their brain, they are saying "Don't hit her, don't hit her." and that causes them to almost hit me?

Whoa. That's some heavy brain flotsam. So do you know the answer? Is there a psychological reason for people veering toward me while I'm walking? If so, share the wealth! Otherwise, I will continue going through life thinking they're all just nuts or out to kill harmless retirees.

Reform, ye spitters!

What is it with men and spitting? Do men have a spitting gene that we ladies don't have? I can't remember the last time I saw a woman hock a loogie in public, but I see guys doing it constantly and I find it totally disgusting. Where I lived previously (the Washington, DC area), I mostly saw guys spitting out of car windows on my way to work. Nothing like flying phlegm to start your day off right.

Here at the beach, I am in a new development that is still being built. Lots of construction guys, landscapers, painters, etc. around all day long. Lots of spitting. I wonder what goes through their minds--"I have 2 more pieces of drywall to hang, but first, I really have to spit."??? What is that about? I just don't get it.

The only time I ever spit is when I have bronchitis and it is necessary for my health that I get the phlegm out of my chest; but I'm not walking down the street spewing my phlegm in front of strangers--I do it in the privacy of my own home and preferably not in front of anyone! And I get bronchitis maybe once a year.

When did men get the idea that it is okay to spit in public? If you're a guy, or a woman who already knows the answer to this, life's most disgusting mystery, please enlighten me!