What part of "Please turn off your cell phone" did you not understand?

While I am nearing age 60, I'm not a technophobe. I love technology and feel that it adds a lot to my life; but I also believe that there are times and places where it is inappropriate. One of these is the movie theatre. You want to check your email while you're waiting for the movie to start? Have at it. You want to text until the lights go down? Knock yourself out. But once the previews start, turn the damn thing off and put it away as requested by the notice on screen.

I used to go to the movies weekly and had my own movie review website. I wrote essays there (an early version of blogging) about the rudeness of people talking in the movie theatre. These days, I still love movies, but I don't go as often. I now find that people talking in the movie theatre isn't as much of a problem as it used to be. But of course, a new problem has replaced it.

With the holidays here and lots of great movies being released, I've been in a movie theatre 3 times in the past month--to see Blind Side, Avatar and It's Complicated. All 3 of these recent movie experiences had one thing in common--cell phones.

At Blind Side, a man across the aisle from me kept turning his cell on and off throughout the movie (checking messages, I guess). The light going on and off was really distracting. Finally, I said "Sir, please turn off your cell phone." and he did.

At Avatar, a kid (junior high age) had his cell phone on and in his hands throughout the movie. Not sure if he was texting or only reading, but he never put it down. He was far enough away from me and in a direction away from the screen that it wasn't AS obnoxious as the last time, so I just took a deep breath and let it go.

At It's Complicated, a couple who appeared to be in their 70s was sitting in front of me. The last person I expected to whip out a Blackberry was a grandma, but moments after I sat down, she did exactly that. This was before the movie started, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But, just in case, I started a conversation with the friend I came with about people who use cell phones during movies and how I find it offensive. Was I rude? Maybe. But you know what? She put it away when the movie started.

While I have had my cell phone out while waiting for a movie to start, it is always turned off and in my purse before the previews start, much less the movie itself. I really don't see the point of having the thing on and using it when you're at the movies. I mean, if you really can't be away from your freaking messages for 2 hours, perhaps you shouldn't be at the movies? Or if something so urgent is happening in your life that you have to continue checking it, perhaps you shouldn't be at the movies?

I should just give up on expecting people to think of and be considerate to others. Thirty-seven years living in the Washington DC area should have cured me of that. But it bugs me when people make it so painfully obvious that they don't give a shit about me...or anyone else around them. They feel they have a right to do what they want--at the expense of everyone else around them. I moved away from the DC area to get away from that attitude...but I guess it's everywhere...or at least in my little beach town where the DC folk come to vacation.

Grocery store cart hogs have a special place in hell.

A week or two ago, I walked into my local grocery store to do some shopping. I was barely 2 steps inside the front door with my cart when my progress was stopped by two women and a male teenager, along with two carts. A few things seemed clear from the get-go:

1) The people appeared to be related (my guess is mother, daughter and grandson).
2) They were not originally from this country (my guess is Russia or thereabouts).
3) They are not aware that there is anyone else shopping in this grocery store.

In my local store, you walk directly into the produce department. From the front door to the SECOND aisle (the one next to the produce aisle), I had to ask these women to move (in order for me to be able to pass by them with my cart) FOUR times. They constantly stopped either at the mouth of an aisle or in the middle of it and stood discussing what to buy while blocking the entire aisle for anyone else with a cart.

I was surprised and appalled that these women did not get the clue to move their cart over before stopping or at least become more conscious of other people after the first time or two. Is this a case where they just don't give a shit? Or because they aren't from this country, they aren't aware of their rude behavior? But how can you not BECOME aware after being asked to move your cart four times in 5 minutes?

Thankfully, I lost them after the first few aisles. About midway through the store, I found them again. This time, the teenage son saw me coming and, embarassed, nudged his mother (who was again in conversation with HER mother about what to buy) and asked her to move over before I had to. I appreciated that.

I want to be clear that I'm not saying that because these people were from Russia (or from anywhere outside the U.S.), they were rude or dumb or badly behaved. I have had the same situation (though never one repeated as often as this one) with people who appeared to have been born here. I had just never seen a situation where people were so completely unaware of what was going on and who refused to learn anything from being asked over and over and over to move.

I am a student of human psychology and am fascinated with why people do the things they do so, after this had happened half a dozen times in one store visit with the same family, I was dying to ask them "Do you not understand why I keep asking you to move?" "Do you understand that you're supposed to move your cart over before you stop so that you don't block the aisle?" "Do you realize there are other people shopping in this store?" and so on.

But I didn't. Because that would be rude. (smirk)